1. don't take anything personally.
i used to spend the
days of my life contemplating the things that people have said, might
say, might think, yadda yadda yadda, about the way i live my life and
the decisions i make. i've let words people use against me destroy parts
of my soul. the soul is resilient, but not impenetrable. it's something
you can never doubt. but if used correctly, it can shift your entire
world. the more you think about yourself as the way others might think
about you, let me just say, it's absolute fear. you're setting yourself
up for failure.
2. become aware of EVERYTHING.
this
coincides with #1. it becomes easier with time to listen to your
intuition. like anything else, it takes practice to conquer, but once
you got it, you got it. become aware of emotions that come up, when they
come up. you need to be able to decipher your own thoughts from your real
thoughts. does that make sense? i think we all have deep, imbedded
thoughts about ourselves that are completely untrue. thoughts that have
sat in the murky depths, never actually resurfacing or washed away,
simply stagnant. thoughts that hold us back from discovering decent,
positive things about ourselves. things other people have told us about
ourselves that we have allowed ourselves to believe.
3. have some fucking fun.
this
is non-negotiable. i am not going to get into any kind of religious
discussions, but i do believe that i have some sort of 'creator'. i
don't know if it was man, woman, beast, gods or goddesses, witches or
warlocks, but whatever it is, it created me in unique form of millions
and billions of other people. i was lying in the grass the other day,
just studying the way the shades of green cascade along the tips of the
grass to the tops of the trees; every delicate detail. every time i
study nature, it takes my breath away. i picked the smallest flower i
had ever seen and on it were tiny little red insects crawling around on
it. in that moment, i felt small. i felt microscopic. something, or
things, out there created me. and i must believe it was for some kind of
purpose. i suppose that's what we all hope. but we get caught up in all
the day-to-day bull shit. working ourselves into an early grave,
destroying our bodies, worrying about money, is this what we were
created for? i can't possibly accept that. although i can't pull myself
away from those things completely, i force in time for fun. i
started by making my own schedule at work, especially for the summer. i
have come to realize that sanity, for me, equals lots of outdoor time, a
good amount of solitude and anything that releases my creative needs. i
know that work is probably what people are most scared to change. they
think they are invaluable. but here's the thing; they will figure it
out. you don't even need to make a drastic change. just something small,
but significant. something you know you can work with. even if it's
just a couple hours a week, you can do it and work will figure it out.
you have to make time for fun, or what's the point of all this?
4. try to make yourself proud.
instead
of constantly listing all the things you despise about yourself, find
things that make you enjoy who you are. surround yourself with people
who truly care about you, not people who make you feel bad about
yourself. we are truly a wealth of knowledge, but it's so easy to get
caught up in the negative things you see in yourself. become aware of
what these things are. acknowledge them and try to weed them out. occupy
your mind with something fun and light-hearted. something that the real
you loves to do. the simple practice of enjoying yourself right after
the negative thoughts start to rise up force a change.
5. write, draw, sing.
get
it out. in whatever ways possible, make the false things you have come
to believe about yourself surface. see them for what they really are; a
lie. i'm a journal girl. writing has always made me see things for what
they truly are. it's like my own super power. i have this ability in
me... to change. it's so possible, it's so attainable. and the most
amazing thing about it is, every single person has this power as well.
you just have to hone it. if nothing else, MAKE this resonate. know that
you are capable of change and see it like a skill. the more you believe
it, the more curious you become. the more you do it, the more you
believe in it. the more you understand it, the more limitless you are.
you are infinite.
6. find peace in solitude.
the
more people i know, the more i understand about the fear most people
find in being absolutely, completely alone with their thoughts. come to
terms with how silly this is. try to be curious about yourself, your
inner workings. don't compare yourself to others, don't believe the
negative things people have told you to believe. aren't you the one who
controls your thoughts, your mind? so start acting like it. TAKE
control. there is no room for timidness when you are ready for change.
it's something you have to KNOW. and you have to take the reigns. you
must take the time to listen to everything that goes through your mind,
and in time, sort through it like a filter. see through the superficial
and get through to your soul.
7. be grateful every single day.
this
is the key. everything before this is fruitless if you cannot be
grateful for everything you have. as humans, as americans, there is a
certain standard. we are defined by our status, our money, our material
objects. we are always thinking about what else we should
have. the things that might portray us as successful or wealthy. the
more you view life as material accomplishments, the less human you
become; i view this in terms of mind, soul and heart. you know, the
things that keep you alive? lets face it, that $7,000 sofa isn't exactly
going to save your life. the more stuff you can remove from your life, the more uncluttered you become. even in your mind. you have less stuff
to look at and somehow you are forced to see depths of your soul. so
many people are scared shitless of being alone with their own thoughts.
how many times can you recall being alone without your television, cell
phone, computer, music, without any distractions taking your mind off of
the internal noise? most people can't even handle the thought of that.
no distractions. but this is the ONLY way change can happen.
8. conquer your fear.
see
fears for what they really are. sheep in wolfs clothing. fear is the
number one reason people won't progress. fear is all people have when
they die. fear is the ultimate villain. and it's absolute bull shit. we
become comfortable in the way we live. we find routine and we cherish
it. and some people are truly content with that. they don't dream, they
don't wonder if they could ever have more, emotionally, than what they
have right now. if you are that person, these rules may not apply to
you. this is for the dreamers. those of you who believe in higher states
of consciousness, warriors, adventurers, geniuses, trend-setters,
revolutionaries, BELIEVERS. those of you who realize life is more than
money, status and material possessions. if you've ever had dreams you
could fly, seen or felt the presence of a ghost, if you've ever felt a
sense of deja vu, used your imagination, done something you never
thought you would be able to do, felt compassion or empathy for another
person, cried when you heard someone else's story, set a goal for
yourself and achieved it, this is for you. you are someone special, an
enigma, a unique soul. you were meant for greatness and why would you
ever deny yourself something so epic? why would you ever think that
happiness may not apply to you?
9. have breakthroughs.
this
is my absolute favorite. sometimes i go through these periods where i
feel huge changes coming, a breakthrough. i can feel it stir inside of
me, i'm restless, but it all happens in it's own time. it's not
something you can coax out or move along. it has to happen in it's
time, whether you're ready or not. sometimes it comes out in meditation,
or i will be writing and suddenly, literally, break what i am writing
and words start to flow through me. an unconscious stream of emotion. my
chest gets tight and i start bawling out of, what seems, nowhere. when i
finally reach the calm, everything makes sense. it comes together like a
perfect puzzle and i have new tools for my next adventure. it never
ends, and why would it? why would we ever think we could just stop
learning? why would we ever stop evolving? i never want to have the
feeling that i know it all. because where do you go from there?
10. own it.
once
you start to discover who you were truly meant to be, don't make any
apologies. make decisions that you know are progressive, that will make
you proud of yourself. don't doubt that you can be at peace. don't doubt
anything that feels pure. start doing the things you never thought you
would be able to do, and don't put pressure on yourself to do them in a
certain way. see small successes in your life. be aware and be grateful
every step of the way. realize that mistakes are awesome! mistakes are
what will bring you to being someone you love. none of us are perfect,
that's not what it's about, it's about finding the lovely, one-of-a-kind
things about you that no one else has. these are the things that make
you, YOU.
don't do these things for anyone else, these things are simply meant for you. and to be as trite as a l'oreal commercial...
"because you're WORTH it."
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